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We would like to share with you, a review written by a client of ours. Yelp’s automated review processors did not “recommend” this review, due to the poster’s lack of Yelp activity and has obscured this review from immediate public viewing. We think it’s a damn shame to see such beautiful diction go to waste. Please, take a moment to read this…

“Man’s greatest folly is his delusion that he can conquer nature. Herein I provide anecdotal evidence to that end – a man, his nascent business but an ambitious extension of himself, has enrolled to provide many central Texans the unnatural comforts of chill air, ne’ery to be seen an Austin summer.

It was a bright morning. The air, heavy as maple syrup on my Waffle House hotcakes, lazily wet my brow, beckoning to all, as if a Sunday sermon, the dire extent of my need. The unit to my three-bedroom-two-bathroom central Austin bungalow had given up. This was a fatal draw, and I knew as such.

The syrupy sugar did nothing to relieve my pain, though my synapses were now firing overtime. A memory – fleeting as a hummingbird on a midsummer morn – was there and gone, the presence and the absence both filling and voiding my quest for resolve. “If you want to be The Coolest, you have to call The Coolest.” And so I did.

He was a ragged fellow, the man who called himself “Air LeGare.” At six-foot-eight and 13 stone, there was no doubt he was forged for the battlefield or rugby pitch; perhaps both. Despite his titanous appearance, he had a warm smile, a soothing aura. It couldn’t have been more prescriptive for this harried and hopeless homeowner in the searing Texas heat.

With a bit of obsequious wit – enough to make an Irishman blush – he executed our contract on a blue chip unit, labor, and interest-free financing. The very next day, the deed was done.

I can’t say my sweat dried immediately, but the panting white Labrador that sauntered by my modest porch on that late August afternoon could have lapped more condensation from a cactus. I was cool, and for the first time in 24 hours, I was calm.

Humans are magnificent. We toil and tool our way out of our troubles, in the hopes of a less circumspect existence. The difficulty of which goes unnoticed, often. The journey to our cool and comfort is overlooked, and, if done correctly, is properly lost to the memory. Our air conditioned worlds, the new normal; the Texas summer, waiting to waste us. Mark and his team at The Coolest are the mere middleman in our opportunistic time on this planet. But if there must be that in between, that purveyor of comfortable calm, the five star hardware and service of Mark’s team are unlike any other.

Perhaps we are just delaying the inevitable. Perhaps we, as humans, are but a virus to the host, and A.C. in Texas, a mere symptom of the plague. Could we be blind to our very own mortal existence? Descartes wouldn’t contest as hotly as the hill country air.

You and I, humble reader, would never agree on who’s the hottest. There are a billion stars, and each one shines more brightly to some other. But in Central Texas, we will always know who is The Coolest. And if I have but a few more years on this life, I’ll live it with an Air LeGare installation, the panacea for all heat induced ills. I encourage you to do the same.”